Never let it be said that LOADSTAR
has turned away from the great social
issues of the day. Even computer
magazines must be aware of injustice
and take steps to correct the
inequities that they find.
Imaginative lot that we are, we
have even found a few problems no one
ever knew about before.
Take the yuppie bowling crisis--
LOADSTAR was first to recognize that
yuppies don't bowl. How can they
live with such a vital part of their
humanity unfulfilled? No wonder
they are such easy marks for foreign
car salesmen and tofu peddlers--
it is a classic case of transference.
LOADSTAR has found that all yuppie
behavior patterns, from wearing
Reeboks to thinking Garison Keillor
is funny, stem from their inability
to feel comfortable with bowling.
After reading everything from
Freud's CIVILZATION AND ITS
DISCONTENTS to the latest articles on
endocrinology, LOADSTAR has
discovered that this antipathy has a
physiological basis-- yuppies are
inevitably allergic to polyester and
Since LOADSTAR realizes the
ramifications of a society that does
not bowl (after all, Gary Hart was
almost elected president by all those
non-bowlers) we commissioned our own
Joe Garrett to find a cure. He
succeeded admirably with UP YOUR
Now yuppies can sit at home and be
comfortable in their natural fiber
clothing and relax to some old
Jackson Browne while they enjoy a
quiet, sanitary, and above all,
genteel game of bowling.
While UP YOUR ALLEY may lack some
of the bowling alley ambiance
necessary for a complete cure, it is
a great stride forward for yuppie's
For the rest of us who don't
necessarily think that "turkey" means
a great low-cal meat, UP YOUR ALLEY
is one of the most realistic
computerized bowling games around-- a
game that lets us choose our marks
and have some control over the ball's
curve while it is in flight. UP YOUR
ALLEY also, unlike lesser bowling
games, keeps track of scores frame by
While running UP YOUR ALLEY, you
will see only one screen. At the top
of this screen is where the program
prompts you to input information.
Below this section is the bowling
lane itself, and at the bottom of the
screen is a scoring chart.
When you begin UP YOUR ALLEY, you
will be prompted to enter the number
of players (up to two) and their
names. You must press RETURN after
you type the information.
At the bottom of the screen, beside
the scoring chart, an arrow points to
the name of the person who is bowling
at that time.
To prepare for your throw, use your
cursor keys to line the green mark at
the left-hand margin of the lane
where you want the ball to strike the
When you are satisfied with that
mark, pressing RETURN will release
your ball. Notice that hitting the
SPACE BAR will curve the ball in
flight-- an especially nice feature
to have when you are going after
those nasty splits.
UP YOUR ALLEY keeps score frame by
frame as each player bowls. After
the tenth frame, you will be asked if
you wish to play again.