Copyright/Publisher: Electronic Arts/Dynamix, Music by: Alan McKean, Producer: Don Traeger,
Director: Jeff Tunnell,
Designed By: Greg Johnson, Programming: Richard Rayl Jr., Darek
Lukaszuk & Jon Leupp, Sound FX by: Bryce Morsello,
Graphics: Brian Mann, Darek Lukaszuk & Greg Johnson, Release Year: 1988, Genre: Multi Events, No Of Players: 1 to 6
Ask anyone when the Olympic games first took place and they'd probably say Ancient Greece -
but they'd be wrong. Unknown to most people, the first games actually took place many years
before this, in the days of wild creatures and cave dwellers. They were called Ugh-Lympics
(cue dramatic fanfare - da dadada da da da DAAAAA!).
The games were only for the hardest, cleverest and most athletic cave-people in the world -
or, failing that, anyone stupid enough to take part. The contest consisted of six events:
Clubbing, Fire-making, Mate-toss, Dino Vault, Sbre Race and Dino Race.
Over the years of pre-history, a number of individuals have managed to rise to high
athletic status and be credited in the caves of fame. These athletes include Vincent, Gronk,
Crudla, Glunk, Thag and Ugha.
You have the opportunity to take the part of one of these heroes in the great contest.
After selecting your character and nominating a sponsor (such as Bzunk's Mammoth Meat or
Nicestink Perfumes) you can select whether to pracice an event, look at the records or
take part in the whole competition.
The events are played as follows:
This requires you to whirl around - by moving the joystick in a circle - and
throw your girlfriend the furthest possible distance.
In this event you must waggle the joystick to escape the pursuing sabre-toothed tiger and
climb a tree at the end of the course; otherwise the tiger will catch up and eat you!
To win you must light your fire first by rubbing two sticks together then blowing the
sparks alight. You can club your opponent if you feel like it.
This is a piece uf utter brainless violence. Bash your opponent off the edge before
he does it to you.
Ride your trustee lizard-steed over the rough terrain and cross the line first to win.
Use a handy piece of lenghty stick to jump the chasm and leap over the beast's head or end
up being spat over the horizon.
Ugga, ugaAAA, nif, nif, clunk - yeah! just my sort of game, this. Bumbling around in a pair
of hairy underpants, bashing red.nosed Gronks over the head and leaping like a ravin' mad
person over dinosaurs - right up my street.
Electronic Arts have really gone out of their way to include as many loony details as
they possible can so you can watch your mates get thrown into the sea, club their skulls in
and generally behave like a very irresponsible prehistoric person.
Maybe the events aren't quite as long-lasting as the sort you get in a lot more serious and
everso high-brow sports simulations - but I just don't care. It's at least as much fun winning
a fire-making contest or the dino-vault as it is to dive or hurdle your way to success! Er...
didn't think much of the mate-tossing, though...
Yeah! At last a really funny and different alternative to the endless procession of Olympic
and other Games variants! This is dead good fun - my favourite event is the Fire Making,
because the expressions on the winners' faces are just hilarious!
The graphics are all big, colourful and cartoony, and are only let down by the scrolling
on a couple of events; the 'bad' tunes, on the other hand, crack me up (oh well... I'm
It's really refreshing when you get a game like this in for review: go out, buy it and
have a laugh - if you can stick tedious multiload systems, that is.
When I saw Caveman Ugh-Lympics for the first time, I found the whole thing entertaining and
fun to play, but after a few games the humour began to rub off, leaving - in my opinion -
a simple sports-type game.
The graphics are good, with large, nicely-drawn figure leaping, running and smashing hell
out of each other, much to everyone's amusement (the opening scene is particularly funny
in a Pyhton-esque sort of way).
The overall presentation, on the other hand, isn't too impressive: I can see cassette owners
getting extremely frustrated with the loading system. Anyhow, if you're the kind of person that
likes a laugh and can see jokes a number of times and still find them funny, then
Caveman Ugh-Lympics is for you.