Caveman Ugh-Lympics
Copyright/Publisher: Electronic Arts/Dynamix, Music by: Alan McKean, Producer: Don Traeger,
Director: Jeff Tunnell, Designed By: Greg Johnson, Programming: Richard Rayl Jr., Darek
Lukaszuk & Jon Leupp, Sound FX by: Bryce Morsello, Graphics: Brian Mann, Darek Lukaszuk & Greg Johnson, Release Year: 1988, Genre: Multi Events, No Of Players: 1 to 6

Ask anyone when the Olympic games first took place and they'd probably say Ancient Greece - but they'd be wrong. Unknown to most people, the first games actually took place many years before this, in the days of wild creatures and cave dwellers. They were called Ugh-Lympics (cue dramatic fanfare - da dadada da da da DAAAAA!).

The games were only for the hardest, cleverest and most athletic cave-people in the world - or, failing that, anyone stupid enough to take part. The contest consisted of six events: Clubbing, Fire-making, Mate-toss, Dino Vault, Sbre Race and Dino Race.

Over the years of pre-history, a number of individuals have managed to rise to high athletic status and be credited in the caves of fame. These athletes include Vincent, Gronk, Crudla, Glunk, Thag and Ugha.

You have the opportunity to take the part of one of these heroes in the great contest. After selecting your character and nominating a sponsor (such as Bzunk's Mammoth Meat or Nicestink Perfumes) you can select whether to pracice an event, look at the records or take part in the whole competition.

The events are played as follows:

This requires you to whirl around - by moving the joystick in a circle - and throw your girlfriend the furthest possible distance.
In this event you must waggle the joystick to escape the pursuing sabre-toothed tiger and climb a tree at the end of the course; otherwise the tiger will catch up and eat you!
To win you must light your fire first by rubbing two sticks together then blowing the sparks alight. You can club your opponent if you feel like it.
This is a piece uf utter brainless violence. Bash your opponent off the edge before he does it to you.
Ride your trustee lizard-steed over the rough terrain and cross the line first to win.
Use a handy piece of lenghty stick to jump the chasm and leap over the beast's head or end up being spat over the horizon.
Ugga, ugaAAA, nif, nif, clunk - yeah! just my sort of game, this. Bumbling around in a pair of hairy underpants, bashing red.nosed Gronks over the head and leaping like a ravin' mad person over dinosaurs - right up my street.

Electronic Arts have really gone out of their way to include as many loony details as they possible can so you can watch your mates get thrown into the sea, club their skulls in and generally behave like a very irresponsible prehistoric person.

Maybe the events aren't quite as long-lasting as the sort you get in a lot more serious and everso high-brow sports simulations - but I just don't care. It's at least as much fun winning a fire-making contest or the dino-vault as it is to dive or hurdle your way to success! Er... didn't think much of the mate-tossing, though...

Gordon Houghton.
Yeah! At last a really funny and different alternative to the endless procession of Olympic and other Games variants! This is dead good fun - my favourite event is the Fire Making, because the expressions on the winners' faces are just hilarious!

The graphics are all big, colourful and cartoony, and are only let down by the scrolling on a couple of events; the 'bad' tunes, on the other hand, crack me up (oh well... I'm easily pleased).

It's really refreshing when you get a game like this in for review: go out, buy it and have a laugh - if you can stick tedious multiload systems, that is.

When I saw Caveman Ugh-Lympics for the first time, I found the whole thing entertaining and fun to play, but after a few games the humour began to rub off, leaving - in my opinion - a simple sports-type game.

The graphics are good, with large, nicely-drawn figure leaping, running and smashing hell out of each other, much to everyone's amusement (the opening scene is particularly funny in a Pyhton-esque sort of way).

The overall presentation, on the other hand, isn't too impressive: I can see cassette owners getting extremely frustrated with the loading system. Anyhow, if you're the kind of person that likes a laugh and can see jokes a number of times and still find them funny, then Caveman Ugh-Lympics is for you.


Excellent cartoon touches but abysmal multi-loading system.
Large and humorously animated sprites, but poor scrolling at times.
The bad tunes are supposed to be funny, but it falls a bit flat.
Good fun at first due to the sense of humour and variety of events...
...but it may become tedious eventually. Still, there's always a high score to beat!
A worthy investment if you want entertaining for a couple of weeks.