No. I absolutely refuse to try and do an Emlyn Hughes impression. No, I will not attempt one! (We'll pay you nine pence - Ed.) Okay. Eeh... ehhhhh... neeehhh. Can I have the money now? (You have to be kidding after that sorry attempt - Ed.)

Rats, Trenton welshed on his bet and I didn't get the crash. But it almost doesnt matter because EH International Soccer is completely brilliant. It's a sort-of sideways-viewed job, with loads of detail, loads of accurate names and loads of on-pitch action.

Everything is controlled with the joystick, and there are plenty of very Amiga-ish pull down menus. Vastly over-rated and expensive machine, the Amiga...

erm, anyway, once you get to the match itself, you'll have more fun than a hamster in a recently-replenished grain silo. It's quick, it's accurate and it's got tons of excitement, so it beats the real England football team hands down.

This, combined with the rather spiffy selection procedures and the full set-up of a World Cup to play, makes Emlyn Hughes International Soccer a king amongst footie games. It's miles better than going down the park for a kickabout.