European 5-A Side
Copyright/Publisher: Silverbird, Release Year: 1988,
Genre: Football/Soccer, Number Of Players: 1 or 2
Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go! What we have here is a vertically scrolling
overhad view of a five-a-side pitch: you can play against a friend or take on
a computer opponent in a game consisting of two halves of three, five or ten
minutes, on any colour pitch you prefer. When all adjustments have been made,
Control is much the same as other footy simulations, in that the computer
automatically selects the player nearest to the ball and places him under your control.
The goalie can be made to dive by holding the fire button and moving in the
appropriate direction. At the end of the game the final whistle blows and the
winner is declared.
The sound and graphics of European 5-A Side are incredibly poor, and this is
echoed in the gameplay. The computer takes a long time to decide which player
should be under your control, but this doesn't make any difference because
the computer players are so bad.
There is only one difficulty setting and I managed to beat the computer player
30-nil on my first game! The two player option isn't much better, since the action
is so unrealistic. There have been some abysmal football simulations on the 64
but this has got to be the worst! Forget it.
Are poorly conceived and unplayable games making a comeback this month?
European 5-A Side might make you think so: it's got porky computer footballers
trotting up and down a single screen width pitch to deathly silence. They're pretty
thick, too - it's possible to keep possession of the ball by just standing
Scoring is incredibly easy - just zig-zag up or down the pitch, as appropriate,
and boot the ball straight in the net. The walled-in effect doesn't add to the
fun (not that there's any in the first place), and neither does the completely
vertical lob. If you're into 5-a-side soccer, you won't be after playing this.