Final Assault
Copyright/Publisher: Epyx/Infogrames, Release Year: 1988,
Genre: Mixed Sports, Number Of Players: 1

If you're the kind of ignorant individual who thinks that rockclimbing is walking up the stairs to a sweet shop in Brighton, you're in for a bit of a surprise. Final Assault has you going on training sessions and choosing courses before you've had a chance to say 'a quarter of smarties' please, missus.

Whichever of the two totally different surfaces (ice or rock) you're on, it helps if you've packed your rucksack - because if you're stranded on a rock race without your thermos you... well.. you won't be able to have any tea and if you don't get any tea you die of thirst and fall off. Nasty, that.

Aaargh! Talk about tedious! Onle a few minutes into trying to fathom the mysterious of Final Assault I was beginning to fall asleep. Standing on same rock ledge for half an hour with no sign of as much activity as you'd find in a goldfish bow! (Oi! - Ken) is not my idea of fun at all.

even in the training section you make such slow progress that any initial interest quickly turns into a manic desire to switch off your monitor and go and do something a lot less boring instead. Biting your nails for example. Maybe rock climbing fanatics might find a bit more to admire but I have my doubts. Serious doubts.

There are lots of things which don't really work as the subject of a computer game - you know, walking the dog, watching paint dry, that sort of thing - and rock climbing, is another one.

Final Assault lets you experience all the planning, preparation and strategy of a climb without any of the nerve-wracking atmosphere, danger or exhilaration. In fact, the whole process is thoroughly boring.

There's nothing wrong with the execution as such, I just don't think that anyone would be happy looking at exactly the same screen for two hours at a stretch. I certainly wasn't.


Three possible courses, training option and slightly awkward icon system.
Mostly functional with few details.
Tuneful title them, basic in-game effects.
Unhelpful instructions and overly difficult training option don't encourage play.
Might be rewarding if you really persevere but it's doubtful that anyone will last that long.
A competent, but very tedious, version of a sport that doesn't really work as a sim.